1. Jdate – The Number One Safe App for Learning to Date Safely Offline and On. The Bottom Line – Jewish singles love how safe Jdate makes online dating. Their resources for dating safety and 7 day a week customer service helps to keep members safe now and also educate them to be safe.
2. Jdate – The Number One Safe App for Learning to Date Safely Offline and On. The Bottom Line – Jewish singles love how safe Jdate makes online dating. Their resources for dating safety and 7 day a week customer service helps to keep members safe now and also educate them to be safe when meeting in real life.
3. Online dating safety tips Credit: Getty Apps are an increasingly popular way to search for love, but despite the ease of meeting new people, online dating can pose risks.

Safety, Statistics, Articles, Dangers, Privacy Tips To Protect Yourself & Identity When Using Online Dating Apps From Crime, Harassment, Catfishing, Scams & Creeps

Online dating has come a long way since the days of Match.com. Not only are there more people on dating sites and apps but there are more options available (swipes, curated matches, search etc.). The days of usernames on dating sites is quickly fading.

Online dating is in trend with an extensive network of all kinds of dating apps. People look for their real-life soulmates online, and for that, there are numerous tips that prevent them from stepping into shady relationships or traps. Hints and tips for safe online dating. There are too many dating apps and websites out there to be able to give granular advice on privacy settings and security precautions for each and every one. However, a lot of security advice in this area is about common sense precaution, just as you would while dating in the real world.

How Do You Stay Safe On A Dating App? How To Protect Yourself On A Dating Site

Divulging hometowns, neighborhood residences, colleges attended, Instagram handles and daily routines can easily provide creeps, thieves and scammers with the information needed to know more about you than you ever intended. Sure it’s important to not leave dating profiles blank as to reduce the possibility of being thought of as a catfish, but at the same time, it’s not necessary to divulge every detail, specific.

This coupled with the amount of data shared on dating profiles, the introduction of reverse image searches and data from other social media sites can lead to greater exposure for stalking, scamming, embarrassment and identity theft. It’s important to understand how others can use the information you post online against you. Protecting yourself and your identity is highly recommended when meeting strangers and putting your profile online.

Not only have I helped countless folks with their photos, bio and app choices, but I have trained folks in how to recognize red flags and remain vigilant when creating profiles, reviewing profiles and going on dates (see press coverage here).

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673. Talk to a trained staff member from a nearby group that helps victims of sexual assault.

I have researched all the major dating apps inside out: monitor product releases, evaluate marketing campaigns and analyze trends, customer satisfaction and safety concerns. Understanding their strengths, audiences, privacy concerns, monetization efforts, demographics and business models will go a long way to determining what (if any) dating apps are best for you.

Below are just a handful of things you should consider before sign up for dating apps from a privacy and safety perspective.

What Is The Safest Online Dating Site

Dating App Safety: Monitor Your Social Media Photos

People are sharing more photos than ever before and often times the privacy settings can be tricky to manage or keep at intended levels. Photos can reveal a lot of information, more than you could ever know.

Facebook and Instagram are the two platforms that come to mind as the biggest culprits for unintended exposure. Scammers have been known to download photos from Facebook and Instagram and take on the user’s identity to create a dating profile.

Don’t make your photos nor profiles public as this information contains hometown information, colleges attended and birthdays (think public posts on walls, birthday postings on Instagram etc.). Photos are the first things scammers look for when creating a dating profile and often times when enough information is gathered, they can then lookup additional information on LinkedIn to build an exhaustive profile.

Do a reverse image search of your public photos to see where they turn up and adjust your privacy settings on Facebook and Instagram to hide photos, posts and demographic data.

Review Your Daily Routines, Check-ins On Social Media

Do you check into Barry’s Bootcamp on Yelp/Foursquare every Monday at 8am? Do you constantly post gym selfies at your Zumba class? Do you post photos the view from your porch or window on Instagram? Do you reference going to the Fort Mason farmers market every Sunday?

These innocent pieces of information reveal your routines i.e. where you are likely to be found and when you are likely not to be home. Thieves can use this to break into your home. Creeps can identify your routines and follow you home from work, gym or grocery stores.

There is nothing wrong with expressing your hobbies but limit the audience, detail or timing of such posts, check-ins and photos. Also, take off your work ID badges when not at the office. It is easy to view them on the bus, waiting in line at lunch or at the bar during happy hour.

Online Dating Privacy: Limit The Information On Dating Profiles

Dating apps are notorious for requesting a significant amount of information from user’s to fill out a profile. While I believe not listing enough information on your profile can hurt your chances for success (i.e. too few photos, not enough biographical data) there is such a thing as TMI (too much information) displayed on dating profiles.

When listing hometown, you don’t have to list the exact town you grew up in, a general area is suffice. This makes it easier to protect your identity (think password reminder questions – see below).

Your exact job title and company is not necessary when filling out your profile for Bumble (use more generic terms i.e. product marketer at ed-tech company or analyst at financial services firm). Apps/sites like Bumble are the most vulnerable as people are more than willing to supply this info via LinkedIn.

Do not use your LinkedIn headshot as one of your dating photos. All dating profile photos should be found via a Google search, they should be private. With respect to names, don’t use an initial or screen name, just change the spelling of your name to make it harder to find you online.

If you come across someone who lists their Instagram handle or website, assume they are super vain, trying to solicit followers or are fake accounts (read this guide on how to spot fake profiles). Don’t leave your dating profile blank or incomplete but also do not list every detail to a T.

Password Recovery and Reminder Questions

Answers to password reminders can be figured out with enough information. Dog’s name on Instagram? Nickname on Yelp? Place of birth? Favorite activity? High School name or mascot on Facebook? Favorite color? Most of this information does not need to be displayed online anywhere.

A favorite color is not going to get you closer to getting a date nor finding your soul mate. Take the time to think of such password reset questions you have been asked and then think about where this information might be displayed so you can take the necessary steps to hide or limit visibility.

Unmatching After Getting Phone Numbers On Dating Apps

It’s not uncommon to want to transition from dating apps to getting numbers but at the same time there are a few reasons to be concerned when someone unmatches after they get your number.

Some people unmatch so you can’t see their activity on the apps. A few others unmatch to make it harder to identify them if they do something creepy or threatening in person or on other apps. I recommend using a Google Voice number when using dating apps for this reason. I also recommend keeping communication on the app until you meet the person and feel safe.

Asking for your phone number right away after matching is a definite red flag for scammers.

First Date Planning, Online Dating

I hate to tell you but most first dates from online dating can be waste of time, it happens. If you are lucky there is no chemistry and you part ways. The worst case scenario you meet someone who is controlling, obsessive and creepy.

Protect yourself while going on those early dates. Meet at a public location (let someone know where you will be and when), take a cab home or have plans to meet up with a friend afterward, check in with a friend 20 minutes into your date to confirm your whereabouts.

If you have reason to suspect a date is not trustworthy, minimize your exposure to having said date follow you home. If you don’t feel comfortable telling someone in person on the first date that you are not interested in him/her, then do so via the app that night, next morning. Ghosting is frowned upon unless there is a significant concern for your safety.

Back in the days of Match.com, it was quite common to exchange emails or phone numbers to communicate after matching. With the proliferation of apps, unlimited data plans and free Wi-Fi, communication is not they hurdle it once was.

There is no need to exchange phone numbers or personal contact info with someone before the first date. Most people would view this as a safety precaution vs some weird social behavior.

Just because you have exchanged some witty banter and know a few pieces of information about a user, doesn’t mean you should let your guard down. Use good judgment, don’t leave your drink alone with your date when you go to the restroom (basically use the same judgment you would if you meet someone offline – online is no different).

Be sure to use the restroom before you meet your date so that you don’t have to leave drinks unattended mid-date (or at least finish your drink before getting up). Limit yourself on alcoholic drinks when out with a stranger.

Just because you think you know a person through their profile, photos and messages doesn’t mean you can trust the person. If in doubt, try a first date that doesn’t involve drinks. Go for a coffee, go to the farmer’s market, go to an art gallery. Make sure you have a plan for getting home so that you don’t have to rely on your date for transportation.

Communication and Dating Apps: WhatsApp, Snapchat Etiquette

Until you actually meet in person and go out on a date and decide you want to see each other for another date, there is absolutely no need to exchange phone numbers, emails, WhatsApp info, Snapchat accounts, Facebook Messenger, skype etc. if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.

Asking for information like ‘Where are you’ or ‘Please send me another photo’ should raise an eyebrow. If the person you are communicating with starts to develop feelings for you before you have met in person, this is a red flag.

It’s impossible to develop feelings for someone you don’t know. If this is not something triggers an alarm button for you then maybe asking for money or being too clingy is.

Not everything I point out is a red flag but enough coincidences should make you give pause. Another thing to look out for is the preferences of a user. If a person is seeking someone significantly older than he/she it could be a sign of trying to target someone for a scam. Older folks are unfortunately targeted for financial scams whereas younger men are targeted for more video blackmail scams.

Privacy: Snapchat Recordings, Screenshots

Although Snapchat messages disappear off the app in time and can’t be screenshot, that doesn’t mean people can’t record your images and video by pointing a camera or other phone to record said communication and images/videos on the primary device the user has the Snapchat account on. The best way to avoid people circulating images and videos of yourself is to not take them in the first place.

Online Dating Blackmail, Sextortion, Virtual Video Dates

Video dates and and chats are on the rise. Be it because of busy schedules, cost of hiring and planning for a babysitter or just uneasiness of meeting a stranger in person. Many dating apps are encouring people to go on virtual video dates.

Blackmail is on the rise in the online dating community. The best way to protect yourself is two-fold: 1) don’t post any photos of yourself you wouldn’t want your family, friends or employers to see and 2) don’t share any private or explicit photos with people via text, email etc. Once photos enter the electronic domain, it becomes easier to hack, copy, screenshot, share and edit.

Do yourself a favor and review everything on your profile and devices and 3) do not engage in any video chats that are sexual in nature. Requesting video chats before your scheduled date is one thing but asking you to do things you don’t want to is another.

Hinge Video Chat, Video Dates: Hinge Video Calling

Verified Dating Profiles, Bumble Verification Requests

Apps like Bumble and The League have attempted to reduce fake profiles and catfishing by implementing a verified profile process within the app. This process entails a user editing their profile, taking a selfie in a specific pose.

Please note this does not confirm age, height, location, gender, intention but merely verifies you are a real person. If you fail the verification process your profile will be turned off meaning you can’t see anyone and no one can see you. Typically this is a feature done at will by the user but can be required if your profile is reported as fake.

Tinder Verified Dating Profiles, Accounts

Tinder also has a verification process where it validates a profile is real but again, does not verify age, height, location, intent etc. – only a user can do this.

Account Verification Scam aka Tinder Verify Scam

Lately there is a new scam hitting the market called the account verification scam. The way it works is that a match inquiries about your authenticity and asks you for your verification code. Unable to provide it they will ask you to verify your account, identity through a third party site. This site will ask for your credit card and will claim no charges will be made.

This scam (most often seen on Tinder) can cost users hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Dating sites and apps will never ask you to verify your account through a third party like this. Avoid at all costs. See story about this here.

I am not here to tell you shouldn’t do online dating nor am I trying to cause you more anxiety but I what I am saying is that we can all use some more discretion about the information we divulge online via social media, professional networking sites, and dating profiles.

Not everyone needs to know what you ate, where you workout, what your exact title is nor know intimate details about you that can be Googled easily. Aside from a privacy perspective, this advice is intended to aid folks when meeting for first dates from online dating – leave some things to be discussed in person. There is nothing like being candid and spontaneous on a date otherwise what else is there to discuss when you meet?​

Assume your profiles will be seen by a co-worker, boss or business partner. Your profile should represent who you are but there is no need to overshare aspects you don’t want everyone to know.

Love Bombing

If you have been on dating apps long enough then you may have been a victim of this act. Predators look for vulnerable people (shy, insecure, recently single, folks on dating apps for long periods of time) and try to get close quickly with strong, early, affectionate notes (aka love-bombing), messages, compliments, public displays of affection, long-term planning (trips, marriage) etc. The term soul mates might be said during this fast and intense courting phase.

As soon as you show some confidence, affection, interest they turn on you. They question why you can’t show the same intensity, why you show interest in other things aside from them. This conditioning is an attempt to let the victim feel bad and let the abuser have more control over the victim taking up lots of time, effort and energy.

Some of this is done for self-validation (confidence, love etc.) but some of it is to take advantage of others. Such narcissists think that if they can get you to put up with their behavior then you are quite weak and can be taken advantage of easily long-term. Some devaluation can occur with the victim to the point where they break and never want to do anything wrong.

Taking things slow, asking questions, spending time with friends and family and trusted sources can help to analyze dates and partners early on. If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. This is not to say you can’t be excited, open-minded, be nervous etc. but when things go too quickly and don’t make sense, get some help.

Online Dating Red Flags

When it comes to online dating, there are a number of red flags to pay attention to. One coincidence can be harmless, a couple could give pause but if many of these red flags start to pop in a user’s profile, photos, messages and communication be careful.

Phishing Scams On Dating Sites

If someone asks you to click a link because they are apart of a safe online dating community, don’t click on it. It’s a scam. You will give up private info or lose money or get blackmailed or all three.

Bumble Updates Unmatch Feature (November 2020)

Bumble recently updated their unmatch feature so that if a user unmatches with you, their profile or message can still be accessed by the other person. Scammers and predators have unmatched their victims making it harder to report them but Bumble has now fixed this loophole. If a user unmatches you, it will display “Looks like they ended the chat”. To report users, go to your messages, find greyed out profile, open the message and select help. From here, you will be able to delete the Bumble Chat or report the Bumble user.

Safest Online Dating Apps

Some Final Pieces Of Advice For Online Dating Safety

Assume any and all conversations, video chats, attachments etc. will or can be saved. These days there are plenty of apps to record screens that block screenshots (particularly Snapchat) and of course there is recording of screens with another device. Too often scorn lovers may resort to unfortunate and awful tactics to get back at exes so protect yourself.

If you are alone, single, divorced or are suffering from depression, scammers are more likely to target you. Ideally you should be using apps once you are in a good place or are on your way to recovery, coping.

Often times people who fall victims to scams are swept off their feet with compliments, praise, affection etc. even before meeting the person. If someone is overly affectionate or romantic before having met, take that as your first red flag.

It’s up to you to be patient, ask questions, meet in person, and use good judgment while on dating apps. When in doubt about someone ask a friend, family member or professional for advice or a simple gut-check on a person you met who seems to have fallen head over heels for you based on your online profile.

Reporting Profiles, People To Dating Apps (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge & More)

Many apps let you report harassment within the app and while apps do not notify others who reported them or who got them banned, it’s possible the other person can figure this out. This link provides information on how to block users and report users within the app. Reporting a user notifies the app that you think something is wrong. Not all reports lead to a ban on the app. Similarly, most apps if not all keep reports anonymous. With that said, sometimes users have such low interactions that they can more or less know who reported them.

This is all the more reason to limit your social media presence and keep communicatoin on the app in the early stages. If you must, create a Google Voice number to so you don’t have to give out your real number to someone you are still getting to know. Also, it’s recommended to screenshot profiles, messages on and off the app (before reporting) as users as savvy to block others or delete accounts prior to being reported if they have done something wrong.

Even with all these precautions, it’s still possible to meet awful people on the app. Take for instance this Hinge Date Gone Wrong with Benjamin Fancher. Just like offline encounters, you never know who a person really is. All the more reason to take things slowly, don’t hop into cars of strangers or go to strangers’ houses. Just because you send a few messages or go on a few dates with someone doesn’t mean they are no longer a stranger.

In some cases, reporting a user doesn’t unmatch them from the app, you must unmatch on your own. Similarly, it’s possible for users to create new profiles and see your profile again. Protect what you share on dating apps.

Bumble recently updated their unmatching feature so that it is one-sided to reduce efforts of scammers, bots and predators from hiding their identity. If you go to the match, you can see they left the conversation but you can click for help at the bottom to report a user who unmatched you.

How To Report Online Dating Scams

The FTC has a great resource of possible types of scams to look out for. Read up on the latest information they provide as well as their online form to report scams.

Additionally, the FBI has an online form to report online crimes – check out that form as well.

How To Report Sexual Assaults Through Dating Apps

Dating Service Provider Resources

Tinder Safe Feature

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Additional Reading

Manipulation Tactics In Dating and Relationships

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About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie Hernandez is an online dating consultant and professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/

Dating Profile Critique

For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for anonline dating profile critiqueyou can read more about my services here.

For other helpful online dating tipscheck out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/

Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions(Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/

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Editor’s note: this story pairs with “LDS singles find love on Mutual dating app”

Rachelle Riffle matched with a man on Mutual, an LDS dating app, and felt they were hitting it off over online messaging.

They decided to meet up in person. One date turned into another, and they began building a relationship. However, Riffle said he started acting distant, and after two months they broke things off.

A few months later, Riffle came across a shocking Deseret News article stating the man she’d dated had been charged with multiple felonies related to forcing a woman to perform sex acts. He’d met the alleged victim on Mutual, as well.

Dating app dangers

“That’s been racking my brain,” said Riffle, a BYU graduate and researcher at the University of Utah. “That was too close for comfort.”

According to the article, Riffle’s ex, James Matthew Cheshire, 30, of Murray, Utah was charged Feb. 21 in 2nd District Court with three counts of forcible sodomy, a first-degree felony, and four counts of forcible sexual abuse, a second-degree felony.

Riffle said Cheshire never harmed her, but while they were dating she did notice “this kind of intense, simmering anger problem,” which started to concern her.

Dating apps have grown significantly in popularity among Americans ages 18 to 24 since 2013, according to the Pew Research Center. With that growth comes the potential dangers of meeting in person with a stranger found online.

Provo Police Department Sgt. Nisha King said the biggest danger while using dating apps comes down to identification.

“Confirming anyone’s identity is a difficult task,” King said. “How do you confirm someone is who they say they are?”

King said even she has multiple fake profiles online for police investigative purposes.

Cooper Boice, founder and president of Mutual, said safety on dating apps is a serious topic.

“There are some unique things about dating apps and online dating,” Boice said. “People can start forming a relationship before ever dating. They can have a false sense of security.”

Riffle’s other dating app scare

Riffle encountered another man on Mutual who wasn’t the trustworthy Latter-day Saint she believed him to be. According to Riffle, she met him in public for their first date, but for their second date the man suggested they watch a movie together in her living room.

Her date soon took advantage of her physically. Riffle said she froze up in panic at first, but eventually was able to push him off of her before it escalated further.

For Riffle’s full account of the incident, listen to her story below:

http://universe.byu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/McKennas-shortened-podcast.m4a

Riffle said she did not report this incident to law enforcement because the man stopped his advances when she showed resistance.

Riffle said she strongly believes people have a greater false sense of security while using Mutual than while using other dating apps because, in theory, all the users are Mormons.

“I fancy myself a strong independent woman who can make choices for herself and speak up and who isn’t afraid to use her voice,” Riffle said. “And yet I can become so incredibly naive when it comes to dating apps, specifically the Mutual one, because there’s something that makes you feel you can trust someone when they say they’ve been on a mission and go to church.”

Riffle said she has learned the rough but enlightening lesson to be more skeptical on dating apps.

“I think we’re all a little naive sometimes and a little trusting,” Riffle said. “Because we do feel comfort in matching and talking to and meeting up with fellow members of the church, but that doesn’t always make them a good person.”

Safe Online Dating For Teens

Another woman’s frightening dating app experience

BYU alumna and Sandy resident Tiana Moe also had a dangerous encounter with a man she met through Tinder.

In 2014, she had recently returned home early from her mission due to depression and anxiety. She said she was going through a disheartening, discouraging time in her life and didn’t care if she walked into a dangerous situation.

So when she matched with a man on Tinder who asked her to come to his place to watch a movie rather than meet in public first, she ignored the warning signs.

“He said that he was … finishing up his undergraduate at BYU,” Moe said. “There were a whole bunch of things he was saying that made me believe he was a pretty safe guy.”

Moe said she went to his place and sat down with him on a loveseat to watch a movie.

“He gradually came onto me, essentially where he wanted to cuddle, and I was OK with that,” Moe said. “Then he wanted to hold my hand, and I was OK with that. Then he got handsy, and I didn’t say ‘no.’ Eventually I stopped him before sex.”

Moe said after she resisted his advances, the man told her to leave. His handling left her with bruises.

“I’m grateful it happened because it opened my eyes to what could have happened,” Moe said.

She said she did not report this incident to law enforcement because the man stopped his advances when she resisted.

Moe said just a few weeks ago, she matched with a man on Mutual who proposed a similar meetup, inviting her over to his place at night and mentioning he had a projector set up in his bedroom.

“I was definitely not interested anymore and I unmatched him and that was that,” Moe said.

Moe said her experience in 2014 was the exact reason why she automatically said no to this match on Mutual.

“People use (dating apps) to target unsuspecting girls all the time,” Moe said.

Incident procedures

Most dating apps have the option of reporting another user for doing something wrong, ranging from using an inappropriate profile picture to sexual assault.

Boice said he and his employees respond to these reports in a variety of ways, depending on the situation.

“Let’s say multiple people report someone for sexually explicit messages,” Boice said. “We immediately ban the offender so that they can’t interact with anyone else.”

Boice said when Mutual employees follow up on reports, sometimes they are valid and sometimes they are not.

Safe Online Dating Sites Free

“Generally we’ll investigate it as far as we can and talk with the person who did the reporting to verify what happened and what actions should be taken,” Boice said. “We do what we can to get rid of the creeps and keep it classy.”

Boice said when Mutual is approached by law enforcement, they work directly with officers to provide all the necessary information they can. He said he heard about the charges brought against Cheshire in a sexual assault case in the news but has not been contacted by law enforcement about it.

King said Provo Police have worked with Mutual in the past. The police’s standard procedure when getting information from businesses such as Mutual is to file an administrative subpoena first.

These subpoenas are usually used to get identifiable information and contact information of the accused person, but sometimes police can get the information they need straight from the victim.

“Most of the time the victim will pull up the information on their dating app and show the profile of the person they met and show us their conversations,” King said.

Swipe safely

“The safety of of Mutual users is our number-one priority,” Boice said. He added they employ safety measures, including requiring every user sign up with a Facebook account, to ensure authenticity. Mutual employees review the Facebook profile of each person who signs up to ensure it falls within LDS standards.

Boice suggested all dating app users follow three safety precautions:

Boice added he would encourage anyone experiencing sexual assault to not only use their in-app report feature but also report to law enforcement.

Moe strongly suggested meeting first dates in public places to stay safe.

“If you don’t know him or her, you have no idea what they look like, what their intentions are — you don’t know anything,” Moe said. “So at the very least, meet them in a public place, preferably meeting them in a group date.”

Moe also suggested to be wary of people who come off as untrustworthy.

“Follow the spirit, follow your gut, follow your intuition, whatever you feel like calling it,” Moe said. “You can generally tell if someone isn’t trustworthy.”